Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
