I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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