Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
