The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't notice because vodka
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
