if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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