ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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