is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
