So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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