you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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