I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
