I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
