this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
