I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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