Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
