Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
