There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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