We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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