I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
