He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
