i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
