I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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