needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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