Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
