he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Let's get the cat blown out
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
