I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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