Say something about gay babies.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
