I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
