my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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