I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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