using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!