We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
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Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.