I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
