Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize