ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
