So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
