She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
