im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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