We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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