Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
