Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
