actually, I'm a sock model
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
