Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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