in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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