wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
