i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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