Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
