i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
