margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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