OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
