he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
