garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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