I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
