I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
