This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
