Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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