I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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