someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
