well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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