I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
