I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
