32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
